


50 Shades of Beige

by ToBebbanburg



Category: Pak van mijn Hart, Tutti i santi giorni | Every Blessed Day (2012)
Genre: Bathroom Sex, Breaking and Entering, Flossing, M/M, One Night Stand, Oral Hygiene, Oral Sex, always brush twice a day, not the dance, or the dick fairy will come, questionable dental advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:54:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28777872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToBebbanburg/pseuds/ToBebbanburg
Summary: Guido Caselli has been skipping on brushing his teeth properly. Luckily, friendly neighbourhood dentist Richard is there to help him out and teach him the proper (and sexy) way to look after his teeth.If you're subscribed to me and see an alert for this: I'm so sorry. Do not read this. Please. Save yourself.
Relationships: guido caselli/Richard
Comments: 17
Kudos: 18
Collections: Richard. The Dentist.





	50 Shades of Beige

**Author's Note:**

> Look I only know two things for certain about Richard: 1, he’s a dentist, and 2, he fucks.

Guido Caselli knew how to brush his teeth properly. The problem was that while he knew how to brush in a dentist approved manner, more often than not he didn’t. Sometimes (most of the time) it was just quicker and easier to swill some toothpaste round his mouth for a few seconds to trick his teeth into thinking they’d been cleaned and be done with it.

It was after one such lacklustre attempt at cleaning his teeth that everything changed. Guido spat into the sink, turned to leave the bathroom, and was stopped dead in his tracks by a figure that had suddenly appeared in the doorway.

The man was a vision in brown. Everything, from the magnificent pillow of curls on his head to his shiny polished shoes was a shade of brown and beige. Guido had never been more aroused in all his life. He loved beige.

“Who are you?” He asked, his curiosity winning out over his trepidation and arousal. The man smiled, showing off perfect plaque-free teeth.

“I’m Richard.” He said. “I’m a dentist and I love animals.”

“Me too.” Guido replied. “I mean, I love animals. I’m not a dentist.” He chuckled in an awkward Guido fashion, and Richard nodded consolingly.

“I know.” He said. “And that’s why I’m here: you’re so far from being a dentist you can barely brush your teeth properly.”

“I-” Guido thought about protesting, but thought better of it. Whoever this Richard man was, he somehow knew exactly what Guido got up to in the bathroom. He couldn’t compete against that combination of pure power and animal magnetism. “You’re right.” He said, admitting defeat.

“It’s ok.” Richard said, stepping fully into the bathroom. “I’m here to help you.”

He reached past Guido to pick up his toothpaste tube, the cord of his jacket brushing against Guido’s bare arm in a way that made his hair stand on end. He wanted to feel that corduroy over his whole body, and had to resist the urge to reach out and stroke Richard’s arm as it passed by. He watched with bated breath as Richard squeezed out a perfect pea-sized amount of toothpaste onto his finger.

“The first step to brushing your teeth,” Richard said, “is to actually brush. Now open wide.”

Guido obligingly opened his mouth, and tried not to moan as Richard invaded his mouth with his finger, the toothpaste-covered digit running across his teeth in a way that was both thorough and sensual. Guido could have sworn he felt the buildup of plaque strip away from his teeth as Richard’s finger tenderly swept across them, his oral hygiene increasing by the second. When Richard’s fingers traced across his tongue Guido couldn’t help but seal his lips and suck, enjoying the pure taste of Richard that lingered under the sharp mint of the toothpaste.

All too soon Richard withdrew his fingers from Guido’s mouth, rinsing them off with brisk efficiency under the tap.

“Is that it?” Guido asked, disappointed that it was all over so soon. To his relief Richard shook his head.

“Oh no: good oral hygiene is more than just brushing your teeth: you have to look after your mouth as a whole, clean your tongue and throat to prevent halitosis.” Richard explained. “Though to reach that far back we’ll need something… longer, I think, than my fingers.”

Guido’s heart pounded in his mouth. Was Richard really suggesting what he thought he was? He glanced down at the sizeable bulge in Richard’s trousers and couldn’t help but swallow instinctively: yes, that would do nicely.

Richard tenderly took Guido’s glasses off him and placed them on the side of the sink.

“It’s about to get hot in here.” He said. “And I don’t want them steaming up.”

Guido let Richard guide him so that he was kneeling on the floor, perfectly positioned in front of his crotch. With eager hands, Guido reached forward to undo the zipper on his Richard’s trousers and carefully pulled them down his legs. The other man’s erection looked even bigger once it wasn’t covered in the brown material, and Guido’s hands almost trembled as he pulled down Richard’s briefs as well. His cock sprang free instantly, as hard and as perfect as anything from Guido’s wildest dreams.

Richard chuckled, and gave it a firm stroke as he nudged himself closer to Guido’s mouth.

“Say hello to little Richard. Tutti frutti, baby.”

Richard’s dick was anything but little: it had to be at least ten inches, if not more, and Guido’s mouth watered at the sight of it.

Richard laughed at his expression. “It’s got to fill your whole mouth: how else are we to thoroughly clean it? Don’t worry, you can take it.”

Guido took a deep breath and leant in. He licked up the full length of Richard’s cock first, enjoying the taste and feel of it under his tongue, then loosened his jaw and set about swallowing every single one of those inches down. He almost gagged when the head of Richard’s cock hit the back of his throat, but he forced himself to relax and keep going until his nose was pressed right up against the wiry hairs at the base of Richard’s cock.

“You should brush three times a day.” Richard told him as Guido began bobbing his head in earnest. “Try to avoid sugary drinks where you can.”

Everything about Richard’s voice made Guido’s own dick swell in his trousers. The soft yet commanding tone. The beautiful Dutch accent. The very words he uttered so helpful, so erotic. Guido swore he would never touch a can of coke again if it meant that he could keep Richard’s magnificent cock in his mouth just a moment longer. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to pleasuring Richard, letting the other man set the pace and thrust into his throat over and over and over.

When Richard finally withdrew, Guido couldn’t help a noise of disappointment escape from his throat.

“Two minutes.” Richard announced as his cock slipped from between Guido’s lips. “Remember: two minutes is the perfect time to brush your teeth for. You can damage your gums if you brush for much longer.”

If anything, it was Guido’s jaw and not his gums that felt damaged from being stretched around Richard’s girth for so long, but he nodded obediently all the same.

“What now?” He asked, his eyes still firmly fixed on the thick cock in front of him. He longed to lean forward and take it back into his mouth, but he didn’t want to risk disappointing Richard.

“After you brush, it’s always best to wash your mouth out.” Richard told him.

“With what? I have no mouthwash.” Guido said. He pondered this for a minute. “You could spit in my mouth?”

Richard laughed Richardly.

“Spitting in someone else’s mouth is wrong and bad and can transmit many diseases.”

“Oh.” Guido was downcast, but Richard took pity on him.

“Don’t worry.” He said. “There’s something else we can do.”

He carefully fed Guido his cock once more, but this time didn’t force it all the way down his throat.

“Gently.” Richard told him. “When I come I want you to taste me, savour my essence in your mouth.”

Yes. Guido wanted that too. He suckled at the tip of Richard’s cock, hollowing his cheeks and sucking as his tongue traced intricate patterns all along the velvety skin. He used his hands to stroke the length that he didn’t fit in his mouth, pleased at how he managed to draw sharp gasps of pleasure from Richard’s lips. It didn’t take long until Richard’s hips stuttered as he ground into Guido’s mouth; Guido made sure to hold every last drop without swallowing.

Richard’s cum tasted faintly of mint, and Guido rolled it around his mouth making sure he coated every inch with it. He knew, instinctively, that it was removing 99.9% of germs from his mouth, and the thought that Richard was the provider of such a penetrating clean was enough to tip Guido over the edge into his own orgasm. He managed to swallow as the waves of pleasure rolled through him, and opened his eyes to see Richard gazing down at him with a look of satisfaction. Guido slowly rose to his feet and placed his glasses back on his face.

Richard’s fingers reached out and plucked out a single wiry hair that had somehow got stuck between Guido’s teeth.

“Clever boy.” Richard said. “You must always remember to floss afterwards.”

Guido smiled, pleased by the praise, though truth be told he had always thought flossing was a sort of dance that kids did. Richard tossed the hair down the sink then turned back to Guido.

“I must go.” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice. “There are others who require my help.”

“But-“ Guido tried to find the words he needed. “Will I ever see you again?” He said in a small voice.

Richard patted his cheek consolingly.

“I’ll always be with you, Guido. Every time you brush your teeth, every time you need a cavity filling, I’ll be alongside you. In here-“ Richard placed his hand over Guido’s heart- “-and in here.” He moved his hand lower until it covered Guido’s spent cock.

He gave Guido one last smouldering look, then turned and left the bathroom. When Guido tried to follow he saw no sign of Richard, almost like he had never been there. He sighed, and returned to his bathroom.

Well. At least his teeth were now clean.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a cautionary tale. Brush your teeth, or Richard will find you.


End file.
